Choose Happiness

A number of years ago, I attended a weekend seminar.  The leader began the first session by writing a sentence on the flip chart.  "I can, by a decision of my will, change my state of being."  That startled me.  At first, I thought it couldn't be true because if it were we would all be happy all the time.  Who wouldn't choose happiness over anger or sadness?

The next time I  became angry, I did remember the statement and found out immediately it was true.  I could choose to drop my anger.  However, I was surprised to discover that I didn't want to - I wanted to stay angry.  I felt justified in blaming the other person for my feelings.

I finally did decide to stop being angry.  Then a strange thing happened, an unexpected bonus.  I felt a new sense of power.  I experienced a degree of control over my own life that I hadn't realized possible.  I was no longer at the mercy of people who could "push my buttons".  I could actually choose my state of being.

Through the years, there have been many opportunities to apply this idea.  I've discovered that I can apply it to all emotions.  I'm convinced that there are alternatives to fear, anger, or hurt feelings.  We can't always choose our circumstances, but we can choose our responses.  We can decide to have honest dialogue, to understand, to forgive, and to accept.  It's this choice that determines our misery or our happiness.

Pixie Koestline Hammond
California